A Word to Parents

The religious landscape in this country is changing. It's been changing for decades (and probably before that, too). The so- called "golden age" of American protestantism, when "everybody" went to church, is clearly dead and gone. It is worthwhile to doubt whether it ever truly existed, or if it is just a figment of wishful hindsight. Still, it's true that organized religion in general, and Christianity in particular, is losing its cultural force. More and more people are not participating in a worship community, nor identifying with a religious group.

To be honest, I am not upset about this trend. Although my faith, and my participation in Christian community, has been a powerful and positive experience in my life, it's no offense to me if others feel differently. I certainly recognize and empathize with the disillusion many people feel towards Christianity. As an organization, the Christian church has done some atrocious things (and some merely stupid things). Although I find community with others to be important to my spirituality, I understand that others prefer to practice their spirituality in private.

However, there is one aspect of this trend that does trouble me, and which I feel moved to address. My comments are directed towards parents. What I often hear from parents is this statement, or one like it: "I don't take my kids to church because I want them to make their own decisions." Many of my friends have told me that their parents did not raise them in any kind of religious community; as a result, these friends find the very concept of faith to be a foreign and confusing (even upsetting) subject.

I'm not a parent, but I think I understand whence this attitude comes. Especially for those who grew up with a negative experience of religion, church can seem like the last place to take a growing child. If you had to memorize the catechism and recite it in front of the congregation, if you were indoctrinated, if your questions and exploration were squashed, if your voice was silenced - certainly, you wouldn't want to put your kids through that.

However, when I hear from a twenty-something that he or she really wants to believe in something, anything, but just can't seem to do it, it tugs at my heart. Faith is something I grew up with. That's not to suggest that my faith journey has always been easy or straightforward (it certainly hasn't), but I am convinced that I was greatly aided and equipped by growing up in a religious community.

Parents, you want your kids to be able to make their own decisions. You don't want to force a belief system on them. That is great. More power to you. But let me make an analogy. I assume that most parents also want their kids to decide on a career or profession. You wouldn't force your child to be a doctor or a teacher. But you still make your kids get up in the morning and go to school. Even if they don't want to. You know that, before your children can decide to be doctors or teachers or lawyers or the president of the United States, they have to get an education. They have to learn to read and write, add and subtract, engage in conversation and think critically. As their parents, you require your children to go to school; you give them, whether they want it or not, a groundwork that they will need to be able to make decisions later in life. You wouldn't let your kid sit at home for 18 years and then suddenly expect that they can get into a premed program.

I really believe that the same principles should operate in the area of faith. Your kids should be able to decide what they believe and how they practice that faith. But they won't be equipped to make those decisions unless you, as parents, provide them with a groundwork. That groundwork doesn't even necessarily have to come from a church - maybe you can read to your kids from the Bible, the Quran, and the Tripitaka. But give them something, some resource that they can draw on - or reject - in adulthood. Give them a groundwork on which they can build.

(A note here: I don't want to suggest that people who were not raised in a religious community are incapable of having faith. I don't believe that to be true. However, my conversations with friends have suggested to me that the faith journey may be much harder if you are trying to start from scratch in your twenties. That being said, there are resources out there for spiritual seekers, and I expect those could be very helpful.)

There is a lesson here for churches, too, lest we think that the problem lies outside of ourselves. Churches must be places where parents would want to take their children. That means very practical and important concerns with regard to safety (as the cases of clergy abuse have made all too clear). It also means that churches shouldn't be concerned with indoctrinating children. We should be open to questioning, to doubting, and to disagreement. We should allow children and especially youth to "tinker" with their faith, drawing in resources not only from our own religious tradition, but from other traditions as well. We should embrace and encourage spiritual creativity. We should break down the hierarchies that serve to silence some voices, particularly the voices of question and critique.

In short, my word to parents is this: give your children the education they need to be able to grow into their own, unique faith. And to churches: provide to both parents and children (and all spiritual seekers) resources for exploration and growth. May we all walk together on journeys of faith, wherever they lead.

VBS Skits

I'm in my first week of internship at King of Kings Lutheran Church. The congregation is doing VBS this week, so I definitely hit the ground running. My job has been writing the skits for each morning's opening session. I thought I'd share them here. Each day has a theme, which I've included before the skit itself. Enjoy!


Tuesday
Theme: The Ten Commandments
Props: None
Note: In the VBS program, whenever the kids hear the line "It's in the book!" they all respond with a big yell: "HUH!" You'll see that in the skit below for that reason.

[As the song finishes, Mike, Beth, and Jennie go up on stage.]
Mike: So, you all are learning about the Ten Commandments today, huh? The Ten Commandments are pretty important for all of us. [pause] Say, Vicar Jennie, what did you learn about the Ten Commandments in seminary?
Jennie: Well, I learned that the Ten Commandments are in the Bible...
Beth: [interrupting] Don’t you mean... They’re in the book! [HUH!]
Jennie: Yes, exactly! The Ten Commandments are in the book. [HUH!] Pastor Mike, what do you know about the Ten Commandments?
Mike: Well, the Ten Commandments teach us how we should act in our relationships — our relationship with God, our relationship with our family, and our relationships with everyone we meet.
Beth: Oh, right, like how the Ten Commandments tell us we should worship and love God.
Jennie: And don’t forget about honoring your parents!
Mike: And that we shouldn’t steal from other people or hurt them. The Ten Commandments teach us how we should act.
Beth: Hey Pastor Mike, these Ten Commandments, they’re like rules, right? So what happens if we break these rules?
Mike: Well, we should always try to follow the Ten Commandments, because that’s what God expects of us. But if we break them, we can trust that God will forgive us, because God loves us.
Jennie: You know, I learned in seminary about how the Ten Commandments remind us of God’s love for us.
Beth: What do you mean?
Jennie: Well, it’s because God loves us that God wants to have a relationship with us. And God gave us blessings like family and friends. And the Ten Commandments tell us how we should act in our relationship with God and our families. So whenever I think of the Ten Commandments, I always remember that God really loves us!
Mike: So when we learn about the Ten Commandments, we should remember to do what God expects us to do, but also remember that God loves us and forgives us.
Beth: The Ten Commandments are really great! I hope you’re all excited to learn more about the Ten Commandments today!



Wednesday
Theme: The Cross
Props: A washtub with a sign that says "Insta-Clean". Two clean t-shirts hidden in the tub. Two dirty t-shirts. One t-shirt that says "SIN" in big letters.
Note: The little "magic trick" involved here went over great. The kids totally bought it... when the first clean shirt came out, they were completely amazed.

Beth: Check it out, everyone! Here in this tub, I have my magic cleaner — Insta-clean! It can get out any stain or mess, guaranteed!
Jennie: Hey Beth, that’s pretty cool. [Holding up stained shirt] Do you think it could get all these dirt and grass stains out of my shirt?
Beth: Sure! Insta-clean can get out any stain! Just give me that shirt... [Puts the dirty shirt in the tub, and pulls out a clean shirt] Look at that! Good as new!
Jennie: Wow! That’s amazing, Beth!
Mike: Wow. Do you think you could get these mustard stains out of my shirt? I made a mess of myself the last time I was eating a hot dog.
Beth: No problem! Just give it to me and I’ll put it in the Insta-clean solution... [Puts the dirty shirt in the tub, and pulls out a clean shirt] Your stain is all gone!
Mike: Thanks, Beth!
Jennie: That Insta-clean works really well. Say... [Lifts up “SIN” shirt] Beth, what about this stain?
Beth: What does that say? S-I-N... Sin.
Jennie: Yeah, I’ve had it for as long as I can remember.
Mike: Oh, yes. Every one of us has the stain of sin, no matter who we are. I have it, too, and so does Beth.
Jennie: [To Beth] So do you think Insta-clean can get it out?
Beth: Well, I can give it a try... [Puts the shirt in, and pulls it out again] Huh. The stain is still there. Maybe it needs a little more time in the solution [Puts the shirt in and scrubs it for a few seconds, then pulls it out again] No, that stain is still there.
Jennie: Oh, darn! I was really hoping I could get rid of this sin.
Mike: You can’t get out sin with cleaners, no matter how powerful they are.
Beth: Well, how can you get rid of it?
Mike: Jesus washes us clean of sin. You see, because God loves us, Jesus came down to earth and died on the cross for our sins. Because of the cross, our sins are forgiven.
Jennie: Oh yeah! [Points to the cross] That’s why we have this cross here in our church, right? To remind us of Jesus’ death for our sins.
Mike: That’s right. The cross is a sign of God’s forgiveness. When we baptize someone, we also make the sign of the cross on their foreheads to remind us of God’s forgiveness. In fact, we can make the sign of the cross on our foreheads any time we want to remember that God loves and forgives us.
Jennie: Hey, That’s a great idea! Let’s do that right now! Everyone, with your thumb, draw a cross on your forehead. That’s a reminder of God’s love and forgiveness!
Beth: And we’re all going to learn more about the cross today. I hope you’re excited!



Thursday
Theme: Saved by Grace through Faith
Props: Martin Luther costume
Mike: [dressed as Martin Luther] “Here I stand! I can do no other! My conscience is captive--”
Jennie: [interrupting] Um, Pastor Mike... what are you doing?
Mike: Well, I'm pretending to be Martin Luther.
Jennie: So that's why you're wearing the robe, I take it? And quoting things Martin Luther said?
Mike: Yes. “My conscience is captive to the will of God!”
Jennie: Okay, but... why are you acting like Martin Luther, exactly?
Mike: Because our theme today is “Saved by Grace Through Faith.”
Beth: What does that have to do with Martin Luther?
Mike: Knowing that we are saved by grace through faith was one of the most important parts of faith for Martin Luther!
Jennie: Oh right... we learned in seminary about that. Martin Luther read the Bible and discovered that God loved us so much that God sent Jesus to earth to die on the cross. Because of Jesus, we are saved by grace through faith!
Beth: So you could say that “Saved by grace through faith” is in the book! [HUH!]
Mike: That's right!
Beth: But what does “Saved by grace through faith” mean, anyway?
Mike: Well, what it means is that we don't have to worry about being good enough for God.
Jennie: Right, like how we were learning about the Ten Commandments on Tuesday. No matter how hard we try to follow the Ten Commandments and do what God wants us to do, it seems like we always mess up and break the rules. We just can't get rid of that stain of sin.
Mike: But we aren't saved by being good enough. We're saved by grace, which is a free gift from God.
Beth: A gift from God? Wow! That sounds great!
Mike: It is great! God saves us because God loves us, not because we are good enough.
Jennie: And because we know God loves us and that we are saved by grace through faith, we don't have to be scared or worry when we mess up. We can be happy and joyful!
Mike: That's how Martin Luther felt, too. Before he learned about being saved by grace through faith, he was scared and worried all the time. But after he learned about being saved by grace through faith, he felt safe, knowing that God loved him.
Beth: And each of us is saved by grace through faith, too! We're going to learn more about that today.



Friday
Theme: Share the Good News
Props: Santa Hat
Beth: [wearing Santa hat] Guys! Guys! Pastor Mike, Vicar Jennie!
Mike: Beth, what's going on?
Beth: I just found out the best news. You're not going to believe it!
Jennie: Well, what is it?
Beth: I just found out that they're going to start having Christmas twice a year. Once in the winter, and once in the summer. Two Christmases! That means twice as many presents!
Jennie: Oh my gosh! That's amazing! I love Christmas!
Beth: Yeah, as soon as I found out the good news, I had to tell you guys!
Mike: Beth, is that really true? Where did you hear this, anyway?
Beth: I read it online! So it must be true, right?
Jennie: Uh oh...
Mike: Beth, you can't believe everything you read on the internet.
Beth: [dejected, pulling the hat off her head] Oh, darn... I was so excited.
Jennie: But you know, Beth, you just reminded me of today's theme: Sharing the good news!
Mike: Oh, that's right. Today, we're going to talk about sharing the good news.
Beth: What good news?
Jennie: The good news about Jesus!
Mike: That's right. The good news that God loves us and forgives us, and that Jesus died for us. The good news that we're saved by grace. It's the best news there is!
Beth: Wow, yeah! That's even better than having two Christmases!
Jennie: And when you know such good news, you can't just keep it to yourself! You have to share it!
Beth: Share it with who, Vicar Jennie?
Jennie: With everyone – your friends, your family, your classmates. This good news is so big, everybody should hear about it!
Mike: That's right. And the more we talk about the good news of God's love for us, the more we learn about it, and the more we appreciate it!
Jennie: In fact, that's what we do in church every week. We talk to one another about the good news that God loves us.
Beth: And that's what we've been doing here at Backstage with the Bible all week!
Mike: That's true! We've been learning about the good news and sharing it with one another. And after we leave here today, we can go out and share the good news with other people we meet, too!
Beth: That's really exciting! I feel like I want to share the good news that God loves us right now.
Jennie: We could do that, Beth. Hey, everybody - I want you to turn to someone sitting next to you and tell them, “God loves you!” And they can share the good news with you, too!
[Beth, Mike, and Jennie share the good news with each other]